TickTock
by myparachute
Summary: Castiel has shifted Sam's hallucinations and is now constantly tortured by his brother, Lucifer. After about two weeks if living in the sanatorium he gets a new nurse, who, to his surprise, turns out to be Meg Masters.
1. 15:00:47:32

**Tick**. 15 days, 47 minutes, 32 seconds. **Tock**. 15 days, 47 minutes, 33 seconds. **Tick**. 15 days, 47 minu-

Cas' mind drifted off for only one second when he saw a shadow move behind the milk glass doors."Hey, hey, hey, brother! You're loosing your point there! See? You already missed 5 seconds! Can't believe it's been...wait. How long has it been again?"

**Tick**. 15 days, 47 minutes, 41 seconds.** Tock.**

Cas concentrated again as soon as Lucifer's mocking voice had silenced, hoping he'd shut up again.

"Ah, there you go, brother!"

Too late. Satan was right back there in his head, and Castiel bet that if he'd opened his eyes now, he'd see the face of his vessel right before him, probably sitting right there at the end of his bed, long legs casually stretched out, muscular arms supporting his torso, long hair hanging over his high forehead.

All this came from his head, Cas new that, but every time he had to open his eyes and see Sam Winchester smiling his soulless smile, he could barely hold himself together. Lucifer did not let him see his old vessel, no. He always appeared as his true vessel and it hurt.

It hurt Cas in ways he didn't think possible. Poor Sam Winchester, who had already lost so much in his short existence.

Who had to endure the same unbearable pain Jimmy Novak experienced everyday, being an angels vessel. Who's soul had been twisted and shattered by it so many times. But what made it hurt so much was that Cas knew it was his fault.

**Tick**. 15 days, 47 minutes, 42 seconds. **Tock**.

* * *

_Note:__ Don't wonder why it's so short: It's actually a One Shot, but I'm not good at writing so much without publishing it in between to get feedback, so I will divide it into these small parts. Hope you liked it and give me feedback! :) _


	2. 15:11:58:10

**Tick.** 15 days, 11 hours, 58 minutes, 10 seconds. **Tock.** 15 days, ...

Cas sensed someone entering the hall, but he kept counting.

...11 seconds. **Tick. **

****It must be the nurse bringing lunch. His was the second room on that floor, which gave him about three more minutes without having to see Sam/Lucifer. He squeezed his eyes shut a little harder, bracing himself Which one would it be now? College Sam like this morning? Or soulless Sam like yesterday? Or would it be the worst one for Cas: hallucinating Sam?

He stopped counting, although he knew that would mean-

"Uhum! Is it lunch time already? I'd like me some pie today! You know, I believe chocolate is Dean's favorite? I'd love some of that! Hum, brother?"

Even if that would mean Lucifer started talking again.

"You know, little brother, it kind of sucks that I can't pull all of the tricks on you! All this was really _much_ more fun with little Sammy. Oh, the food tricks I'd play on him! Haha! Glorious! But you? You would just mindlessly eat anything, right? This is no fun. I want Sammy back!"

His tone took on that of an upset kid begging it's mommy for more candy.

"I want my Sammy back! I want my Sammy back! I want my Sammy back! I want..."

He continued like that for the three remaining minutes, getting louder and louder.

**Tick.**

15 days _- I want my Sammy back! - _,

11 hours _- I want my Sammy back! - _,

59 minutes _- I want my Sammy back! - _,

51 seconds.

**Tock. **


	3. 15:12:02:57

**Tick.** 15 days, 12 hours, 2 minutes, 57 seconds. _I WANT MY SAMMY BACK!_** Tock. **

****The door opened and so did Castiel's eyes. He had to blink multiple times, adjusting to the cold light in his half-lid room.

Before he could even really make out Lucifer, who was sitting in the opposite corner, hugging his knees while screaming, the nurse rolled in her food cart with a sing-sung "Lunch time!" on her lips - almost completely drowned out by Lucifer's pleas. Cas turned to look at the appearing metal wagon carrying his food, and suddenly, Satan stopped crying and appeared riding on it, the form of little 7 year-old Sam, cheering as he got rolled in.

"Wheeeeeee!"

As soon as nurse Betsy, a 47 year-old woman with an always happy, round face and short, strawberry blond locks, saw him, sitting straight as always on his bed, legs stretched out tensed under the blanket, hands folded in his lap, his ocean-blue eyes on her, but really far away, a little of her heart broke. It always did when she came to check on Castiel Novak, a patient so pure and honest, she could not believe that God had let this happen to him. Despite it all she smiled happily and greeted him.

"Hello Castiel! How are you feeling today? I brought you your lunch. It's actually quite good today. Beefsteak, potatoes and salad. And for dessert there's pudding. Sounds good?" Ugh, she thought. If only he would get any better!

Although Sam protested that he wanted pie, Cas forced a smile and answered Betsy:

"Yes, madam, yes it does. Thank you."

He made himself get up and sit on the side of the bed, legs hanging down, drained of all power.

Betsy put the food down on the small desk leaning against the wall. As she collected the dishes frim breakfast she stopped mid way, looking back at Castiel.

"Oh, uhm Mr. Novak there is something else."

Cas looked up at her.

"You will be getting a new nurse for the afternoon shift. You have to understand: I can't do all of this by myself anymore. That is why my new co-worker will help me from now on.", and turning to the door she said: "Miss Masters? You may come in now!"

Castiel followed her eyes to the door. Through it stepped a young woman; only, to his eyes she was no woman, her face dusty and dark, craving.

A cold shiver ran down Cas' back, but he kept from shuddering. His shock was so immediate that even Lucifer stopped commenting on nurse Betsy's eyebrows. With a lot of effort Castiel pulled himself together to see her normal face. Just as he did, Betsy introduced her:

"Castiel, this is nurse Meg. I'm sure you two will get along just fine!"

"Oh, I'm sure we will, hm, Mr. Novak?" Meg teased.

Meg, the demon Meg, was here. She was his nurse. As soon as Castiel tried to process what was happening Satan was back, laughing, shaking and holding his stomach.

"Oh man, this is just _so_ funny! I was wrong before, brother. _This _is gonna be _so_ much more fun than I ever had with Sam!"

**Tick.**

He couldn't take this.

**Tock.**

Now even the persons outside his head would torture him!

**Tick**.

15 days, 12 hours, 7 minutes, 36 seconds.

**Tock. **

15 days, 12 hours, 7 minutes, 37 seconds.

**Tick. **


	4. 15:14:30:13

"Oh come _on_! This whole counting shit is getting really boring! Hello? Hello, brother?! Are you even listening?! Hey! _Hey_! Cas? Oh come on little brother!"

**Tick.** 15 days, 14 hours, 30 minutes, 13 seconds.

"Really brother? _Really_?!"

**Tock.**

"Damn Castiel, you never respect my needs! Just becau-"

A knock on the door cut him off.

"Uh lala! I bet I know who-" Meg stepped in, Cas could feel it. "Bingo! Ten points to Gryffindor! Although, I think I'm probably more of a Slytherin..."

"Hey, Clarence."

Castiel opened his eyes, staying as calm as he could to avoid seeing Meg's demon face. She was still standing in the half opened door, waiting for Cas to show any reaction to her greetings. He wondered: She had almost sounded shy. why was that?

Probably just to play him. Over Satan's monologue on how he would be the better Voldemort, Cas answered her:

"If you are here to torture me, just keep in mind that you are not the only one doing that."

A sad smile flickered over her lips. Meg closed the door behind her and slowly stepped the the end of Castiel's bed.

"I get why you'd think so low of me, but I bet I wouldn't be able to top the master's torture."

That ripped Lucifer out of this thoughts. He appeared - form of fake FBI agent-Sam - behind Meg and started detective-like examinations on her.

"She knows stuff. That's good." But right her next sentence ruined his mood.

"I'm not here to hurt you."

Two weeks in there must have been what made Cas believe her instantly.

"Okay."

'Sam' was complaining about Meg, still towering over her.

"So...Where is he?", Meg asked, walking around the bed post to sit beside hs legs.

"Who?" Cas was confused. He looked straight into her eyes.

"Oh Clarence, you haven't gotten any faster. Your brother! I know you're seeing him. So? Where is he?"

That's when it happened. Cas looked away from her to search the room for Lucifer, but he was gone, and with him the voice in his head. He couldn't believe it! How did she do that?! He looked back at her. Should he ask? No. He know lying was wring, but he somehow didn't want her thinking he had been bluffing this whole time.

"Er...He's in the corner by the door. Singing Elvis."

Meg turned her head to look at the empty corner. "Elvis, huh? Never really liked him."

Cas smiled a little, elaborating his lie: "Yeah me neither, but that's probably why."

"Makes sense." That sad smile was back. Cas caught it, although she tried hard to hide it.

Oh how he loved this. Being able to notice the little things? He had missed that. Cas didn't answer for a minute and just looked around the room, scanning all the details, hearing all the details without the ring of Lucifer in his ears. The birds outside, the mumbling of the other patients, the ticking of the all familiar clock. It suddenly seemed to click so much faster.

**Tick**,** tock**,** tick**,** tock**,** tick**...


	5. 15:14:?:?

So here she was. Sitting in a room, casually chatting with a crazy angel while being watched by his imaginary friend Satan, hiding from the king of hell. How the fuck did she end up here? This whole situation was so ridiculous that even the big boss couldn't have foreseen it. Why did she take on the Winchester job back then? Look what it got her! The shit she was in now almost topped the shit she was in before she'd died. It surely felt the same, which was actually kind of weird, since Meg was a demon. the smokey form usually comes with the "no feelings attached" tag, however, Meg somehow had alwas felt something. What was new was that her feelings lately could more likely be described as "care" instead of "rage" or "anger". Why? Meg didn't know, but she figured it had something to do with that particular crazy angel she was currently looking at.

Cas closed his eyes for a moment and Meg turned away from him. Her eyes caught the untouched food on his desk.

"How do you fool them into thinking you're eating?"

Cas looked at her, then at the food, then back at her. He answered seriously:

"I eat it."

"You do? But I thought angels don't have to!?"

"We don't, but it's the easiest way to get rid of it. And I don't mind. Also: I know my vessel likes to eat."

"Oh, okay. I guess. I can't really feel my vessel anymore."

Truth be told: She had figured that wearing a vessel for a long time annoyed her sooner or later. That blond vessel she had when she first met Sam and Dean That girl was a true fighter. She got more annoying the longer Meg stayed inside her. And Sam? She got a nice backstage look of his feelings-yes, but damn that boy was strong! She was almost glad when they exorcised him. when she came back from hell she made sure to find a nice and empty vessel. What she found was 28 year-old Sarah from Michigan. Had just hanged herself after her husband and daughter had died in a plane crash. No family, no friends, and, more importantly: no soul. Bonus: She kind of looked like an older version of human-Meg.

Anyway.

"So are you going to eat that?" She motioned towards his lunch. Cas shook his head.

"No I don't think so."

"Okay then I'll take out the dishes." She got up, but Cas gripped her arm. A could shiver ran down her back.

"No please...please stay." Huh? Why would Cas want her to stay?

"O-okay...?" Meg sat back down. "I'll stay."

* * *

_** Note:**____I thought you'd maybe like a little change of focus! ;) _


	6. 15:14:Who cares!

_**Note:**__ This is really short and not my best, I'm sorry, but I didn't want you to wait so long. So I just went for it. I have no idea where this is gonna go. :D Tell me if you like it or what I shouldn't do. :) Happy Easter! Enjoy! xo Franzi _

* * *

"Soo..Do you want to talk about something?"

Meg obviously wasn't good at small talk.

"No I don't."

Apparently, Cas wasn't either.

"What do you normally do all day?"

Oh God, this conversation was doomed.

"I count."

Yep. She should take out the dishes anyway.

"You count?! What the hell is there to count here?"

"Time. Angels have a very correct body clock."

"Oh damn, Clarence. You're the strangest thing I've ever come across."

Meg wondered why she didn't pity him, though. She felt something different. Respect? Why? Why in hell did she respect a barely functional angel with lame hobbies that lost the ability to talk in full sentences? This place was making her as crazy as the patients she was supposed to care for.

"You're stranger than most of the human inmates here. Even if you weren't crazy. Why is that? I mean I've met angels before. They seemed pretty normal, pretty...well...human...-ish. Why is it so hard for you?"

Cas took a long time to answer. Had she been too direct? Was he offended? Oh damn, why did she even care?! Ugh this place made her go nuts!

Finally, he answered:

"I don't really know why."

Was he serious?

"Seriously?! That answer is what took you so long?"

"I really don't know."

Finally, a little emotion in his voice!

"I guess I just haven't been able to understand the humans fully. I've never been one, unlike you." He took a long pause. "Do you remember it?"

What?! No, no, no! This had taken a really wrong turn! Did he really just ask that? Meg's eyes widened.

"If I...?", she stumbled.

"I mean...yeah. Yeah I remember. But I'm telling you, honey, if you ever ask about it, I swear I will rip you to shreds! We clear?"

Her shock had turned into anger. Who did he think he was asking her about that shit?! Stupid birdman!


	7. 15:14:46:55

Cas immediately realized that he'd gone too far.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Damn well you are!"

"I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."

He didn't want her to be mad at him, and somehow he felt it wasn't just because he was scared she could leave. He wanted her to, well, like him, which was every definition of wrong.

Meg did seem to cool off again.

"Well at least you know that. Most of your feathery friends don't."

"Whom of my brothers did you meet to let you think that?"

"Well for starters there's your pal Lucifer, but I guess he doesn't count as an angel anymore." Meg laughed. "But he was still as sassy as most of you."

'Sassy', what a weird word, but Cas could understand why she chose it. He wondered if she'd use it to describe him, too.

"I know what you mean. He has always been like that. Even in heaven." He smiled, thinking back.

"Heaven, huh? I wonder what that's like", Meg said, meeting his eyes. Cas had to look away, suddenly realizing that Meg would never be able to go there. It made him sad.

"It's exciting for souls, I guess. For angels it's just...normal."

"Pff..'normal'! I bet it's crowded." That surprised Castiel.

"Why would you think that?" he met her eyes again, but this time she looked away immediately.

"I don't know. It's just how I thought of it. Hell's pretty lonely, so I figured heaven would be the opposite."

"Ha. Interesting thought, but no. There are a lot of souls there, true, but heaven is unlimited. It grows; and every soul get's its own heaven, filled with whatever they want."

"Huh, really? Never would have imagined that. So what's in your heaven? What does it look like?"

Cas had to smile again.

"Mine? Oh no, only souls get their own piece of heaven. Angels don't have personal heavens."

"What? But that's unfair!" She turned on the bed and put both her legs up on it to face Cas. She seemed very excited.

"If we did, why would there even be angels? We would be the same as all the souls there. Besides: Instead of having their own heaven angels can fly into every heaven they want."

"Hmm. It makes sense." Meg moved closer to Cas. He pulled his legs up into a tailor seat. Their knees were almost touching now. Cas felt a tickling in his stomach.

"So, what's your favorite heaven then?"

"I often visit an old men's garden. It somehow calms me."

Meg seemed unimpressed.

"Ugh, sounds lame."

"That's what most of my brothers say, too." He paused, unsure if he should ask.

"What would your heaven look like?"

"Mine? I never thought about that." She didn't seem offended, so more words tumbled out of Castiel's mouth.

"Whatever it would be, I think I would visit you."

"I bet you would! Otherwise you'd miss out a freaking awesome party!" She was smiling again, and Cas was happy to see her happy.

"Believe me, I've seen a lot of 'freaking awesome parties' up there. You'd really have to get creative!"

Meg's mouth dropped. "You? At a party? Clarence! I didn't expect _that_!"

"Why does everyone keep thinking I'm immune to fun?!"

She broke out into a full body laugh.

"I hate to break it to you, honey, but normally? You really _are_ immune to fun!"

Like bells her laughter echoed from the walls of the small room. A choir of bells; more beautiful than any piece of music Cas had ever heard. And he couldn't help but join her. Together they sat in his room, his cell; two supernatural creatures, supposed to hate each other, both broken by the human world and hunted by their own kind, laughing as if their world wasn't falling apart.

* * *

_Note: Oh gosh, I didn't think of this to get so long! I'm not even close to where I want this story to end! I guess you'll get more than I planned. Hope that's okay._

_This chapter kind of marks the point from where it will be more like actual fanfiction. I kept really close to what could have really happened during Cas' time at the sanatorium, but since this is, after all, a fanfic about two close characters, I'll go a little away from what Meg's and Cas' relationship on the actual show is. I hope I'll be able to keep the characters as close to the original as possible, but especially with Cas it is really difficult for me to lighten up his speech a little. So please be kind to me and since I'm extremely unsure about all of that please, please keep on reviewing! It help's so much! :)_

_Wow that is a long note...:D sorry for that. Keep on reading, more stuff coming soon! Thanks & bye!_


	8. Time to go

Forgotten was her anger as she laughed for the first time in months. A true and happy laugh. Meg almost didn't believe it was the stiff angel from moments ago that had caused it. Cas really had opened up. Now for the first time he almost seemed human. Somehow Meg wanted that to continue. She didn't miss angelic Cas in the slightest. She already knew how she'd get him to 'stay human'.

"Hey Clarence? D'you wanna go out?"

His smile got smaller. His eyes drifting away, looked a little bit confused; he was probably re-running the question in his head.

"Out? I can't get out of here!"

"Wrong. You can! You can if there's a nurse present who thinks that it's best for you. Last time I checked, I was one of those. Come on!"

She got up and tucked at his hand. Cas' confusion just grew.

"I don't kno-"

"Cas it's okay. See, the weather's awesome, you haven't seen the sun in weeks, and I really do hope you're not being concerned about Lucifer getting a sun burn! So there's really nothing you can say. Up!"

He slowly got up, but it was obvious that he still wasn't sure about Meg's idea. To guarantee that he really came with her, Meg didn't let go of his hand, although it seemed to make him uneasy. After putting his hospital slippers on, Meg dragged him out the door, but in the hall she didn't go right to the exit; instead she turned left.

"First things first: I'm not gonna go out in this outfit. And neither are you!" Her destination was the nurses' changing room on the bottom floor. When they entered the empty room that looked like a high school gym changing room, Meg let go of Castiel's hand and walked towards a locker nearby. Cas remained still by the door.

"But my clothes aren't in here!", he said questioningly. Meg opened her squeaking locker, pulled out a pile of clothes and turned to him.

"Yes they are. I've kept them here in case you'd need to get out of here fast."

She smiled and out half of the pile on one of the benches dividing the room. The other half remained in her hands. Motioning towards the bench she said:

"There. That's yours. You can change right here, I'll go into the shower. I'll be right back." She waited a moment for his approval.

"Okay."

"Fine." And she turned without another word, wondering why the situation suddenly felt a little awkward.

Halfway in the shower-rooms she remembered something. As she turned to speak she froze for a second. Cas had already pulled his white hospital t-shirt off and was in the middle of reaching for the light blue one he wore as Emanuel. It shouldn't have shocked Meg to see him half naked, but damn her dear Clarence had a nice body. Well defined, but not overworked. Too bad he was always hiding that under a suit, she thought. Angel or not, this guy was every definition of handsome.

"Erhem...", she coughed. Cas looked up, not seeming ashamed of being this exposed. "I forgot something." Meg mumbled, forcing her eyes down, not wanting to stare as she was sure she would. Yes, definitely awkward. Why? She wasn't this prude normally. Hell she was everything _but_ prude! Normally anyway...

It seemed her remark came noticeably late, at least Cas noticed. "Yes?"

"Uhm, your shoes. They are still in my locker. There are socks in them as well."

He took a quick look at the locker, then back at her. "Okay, thank you."

"Okay." She turned around again. What was wrong with her? Her stomach felt so weird!

* * *

_**Note:**__ A slightly shy Meg? Hope that's okay...? I told you I'm not confident with these characters. I'm scared they end up too romantic...My apologies if I didn't quite catch the character traits with this. _

_And let me explain the "going out" plans: I have something planned for the next chapter, bc I thought this might need a little...well...action. You'll see. _

_Thanks for reading, following, liking and reviewing the story! :) _


	9. Timeless

_Note: Full version, yay! :) _

* * *

It surely felt weird, being outside. the grass under his hands soft, the ever present buzzing in the air and the sun tickling his nose. Cas loved it. It was almost like his favorite heaven. He was sitting cross-legged on the grass in the middle of a small garden he didn't even know existed behind the sanatorium. Meg was lying next to him, silently enjoying the late autumn sunlight with closed eyes. Cas took the opportunity to look at her:

Her now open har lay in waves around her head, the open black leather jacket exposing an olive green blouse loosely tucked into dark blue jeans that fit her slender legs like a second skin right down to her crossed ankles, where her black shoes met them. Cas couldn't deny that she looked good.

They stayed silent for the most part, knowing that neither of them was really good at small talk, enjoying this little freedom, just glad for the company. For once, Cas had completely lost his sense of time, so when the sun disappeared behind the horizon, he got worried because he knew the night ment endless hours of torture with Lucifer, as he was sure Meg wouldn't stay with him to block his hallucinations. With the last rays of sunlight, Meg opened her eyes, shifted into a sitting position and looked over to where Cas sat; his sad eyes failed to hide his worries.

"What's wrong?"

Cas figured that he might as well tell her the truth now. Nervously he looked down, mumbling:

"I lied."

"What?" Her question wasn't shocked, but rather due to the fact that she probably didn't hear him, so while asking she moved closer.

"I lied.", Cas repeated. He knew she had heard him this time; she looked confused.

"Lied about what? You haven't said anything for hours!"

"Earlier, when you came to my room."

"About what, Cas? Stop the teasing!"

Cas took a deep breath, looked up, and in a stronger voice said: "I lied when I told you about Lucifer. He's gone. The moment you asked about him he disappeared. I haven't seen him the whole day." He stared into widening eyes, but he wasn't done yet.

"And now I'm scared of when he comes back. That's what's wrong."

Silence. For at least two minutes nothing came out of Meg's half-opened mouth.

Then, finally: "Wow Clarence. I didn't expect that. But you don't have to worry. He'll only haunt you when you're alone, right?"

He knew what she was getting at.

"Yes, but that's not going to happen. You can't stay here forever. It's not your responsibility."

"As far as I'm concerned, I get to choose what is and what isn't my 'responsibility'. You may be bound to some shitty 'laws' from above, but I'm not and I don't give a rat's ass about heaven or hell. So I don't care if you want it, or not: I'm staying."

But why?, was all Castiel could think of. He didn't protest though. She was right: What choice did he have?

Meg stood up and looked down at him, waiting.

"Come on. Let's get inside."

When she offered her hand Cas took it without a second thought. Slowly he got used to her touch.

Silently they made their way back through the garden, long shadows walking ahead. Suddenly Cas stopped. Two figures coming towards them triggered his attention.

"Meg?", he wispered, sensing their dark aura.

"I know. Two of Crowley's puppies. Stay here." She appeared to be in full fight mode already. However, Cas already knew this would end badly, as they were both weaponless. His, what Dean liked to call 'angel mojo' stopped working when he shifted the illusions. Did Meg knew?

As the demons came closer, Meg got in front of Cas, hissing "Stay still." What did she do?

The two men slowed down and stood about five feet infront of her. They didn't immediately attack. One of them turned to her:

"What are you doing here?"

Meg took a step forward.

"Watching him."

They obviously didn't seem to believe her. The other guy grabbed into his jacked and slowly took out a shining silver blade.

"I don't think so."

A piercing sound reached Castiel's ears as his knife cut through the air at Meg. Expecting the swing she ducked out under it, leaped forward and threw herself at his torso. They fell and Meg punched him. And audible crack was prove of his broken nose.

As he seemed to be knocked out for the moment the other demon reacted to the sudden situation by leaping at Meg, but she, again, expected him to, grabbed into her belt, turned shortly before he reached her and rammed something into him. His body froze and something like orange lightning made his body spasm. He dropped dead to the ground. Meg didn't waste any time and pulled out what could only be an angel blade to strike the demon under her. Cas ran forward simultaneously, seeing what she could not: The massive men raising his arm to cut her, but he knew he wasn't fast enough when he heard the blade cut through Meg's flesh, causing her to scream in pain. Her lack of attention gave the intruder the chance to turn them around and pin her under him into the grass. Cas was close now and this time swung himself at him before he could land another hit, smashing him back to the ground. Meg rolled to her side and didn't waste another second to stab her blade into his heart. His body cramped as his companion's before finally staying still, dead.

Cas turned to Meg and saw her shoulder drenched in blood. She immediately played it down. "It's nothing, just a scratch. I'm fine."

"We've gotta get you inside! Come here..."

He wanted to help her up, but she refused.

"I don't think that's a good idea. In their eyes we just killed two men. No. We've gotta get rid of these first."

She got up without help and with her good arm got out her car keys.

"My car's that way. It's not far. Can you carry them?"

* * *

They got the two bodies into her truck. Meg turned to Cas:

"I assume you can't drive?"

He shook his head no.

"Okay then I'm gonna drive and you're gonna change gears!"

He should do what?!

* * *

With a lot of effort they got to a field outside of town. A little cabin stood right by the road. Meg got out.

"Throw them in there. We're gonna burn it down."

* * *

Said and done. As the flames took the cabin, they drove away.

"Where do we go?" Cas asked, looking at Meg.

"To my room. I have bandages there."

"Your room?" Cas never thought about her living somewhere.

"Yeah. I have to keep my stuff somewhere, don't I? It's a motel room not far from here."

And really, just two or three minutes later they pulled up on a motel parking area. Meg got out and Cas followed her inside a room marked 2.21 B. Weird numbers they had here, but apart from that she lived like the Winchesters, which did kind of surprise Cas.

Her room was fairly small. And old bed with untouched white sheets, a few clothes lying around and an old TV standing on a massive wooden drawer. Meg tucked at her jacked and winced in pain. Cas moved to help her.

The jacked was cut from her shoulder down to her collarbone and bloody red. The blouse underneath looked similar. Cas hesitated to pull it off, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, but they both knew it had to come off in order to examine the cut.

The blade had also cut through the strap of her bra, but, to Castiel's relieve, did not cause it to fall off.

He concentrated on the cut. Luckily it wasn't deep. No stitches needed.

"I have some bandages in the bathroom.", Meg told him. He walked in and found a first aid kit under the sink. Besides bandages there was also some iodine to clean the wound. Cas began to patch her up.

"Looks like I'm the patient now, huh?" Meg laughed, but it soon disappeared when Cas started cleaning the cut. In between winching she remarked different things. "I'm out of practice. Normally I'd've take those two out without blinking!" or "You'd make a pretty decent nurse, Clarence." Cas remained silent. He had to concentrate.

When he was done he looked into her eyes. "I think it's best if you lie down."

She smiled: "Whatever you say, doc." and sat down on the bed. Cas moved to the door. "Rest. I'm going back to the hospital. I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

_Note:__ Oh god this didn't look so long on paper! I'm not even finished! I could have made 3 chapters out of this! Dammit. Well that's what I'll give you tonight. The rest will come tomorrow. Hope it was a surprise, I guarantee you the rest is gonna be one! ;) _

_A special thanks to __**Alice**__ (aka __**Every Atom Of Your Existenc**__e) who did suggest a demon encounter somewhere in the story. Here you go! :) Please check out her story "__**Hope and Archangels**__", too! It is very, very awesome, I'm a big fan and patiently waiting for new stuff, which will hopefully come soon! (She's very quick with publishing, that's what makes it bearable. ;) ) _

_And now I'd go crazy, if you'd write me a quick review about this that would seriously make my day! Hope you enjoyed this and as said before: more stuff coming soon! Bye! :3 _


	10. BadumBadum

"Huh? No, no. We had a _deal_! You're not gonna go out there alone. It's two miles to the hospital! No. No you're gonna stay here tonight!"

Meg got up again and stood before him.

"I owe you. If it hadn't been for you those dogs would've ganked me back there!"

She clicked the door shut and took his hand from the knob, leading him back into the room. As she did so, Castiel felt this weird tickling in his stomach again. His heartbeat quickened. Why?

They sat down on the bed, much like this afternoon: Leg's pulled up, knees almost touching, facing each other. Cas spoke first:

"You don't owe me. If it wasn't for me they would have probably never shown up. Do you think there are gonna be more?"

Meg answered seriously. "No I don't think so. They weren't after you. They didn't know you or me so they weren't set on us. It was a coincidence."

"I hope so."

"Me, too, but I'm still gonna keep that angel dagger around." She pulled it out of her belt.

"I was going to ask: Where did you get that?", Cas wondered, for he didn't remember giving it to her.

"I stole it. It was in your coat. I figured you wouldn't need it any time soon, so I took it."

Cas laughed. It seemed so typical for her.

"I'm glad you did. Otherwise we'd probably be dead now."

They laughed together for a moment, then Cas noticed her still missing shirt.

"I should get you a shirt. Where do you keep them?"

He wanted to get up, but Meg was faster.

"It's okay, I'm gonna get it myself."

He watched her as she walked over to the drawer, took out a white shirt with one arm and walked to the bathroom. Shortly after she came back without the shirt on.

"Looks like I need a new bra, too.", she explained and again walked over to the drawer. After pulling out a black one and once more going into the bathroom, she came back, walking up to where Cas was still sitting, clothes in her hand.

"I can't open it. I can't move my left arm back, otherwise the cut will rip open again. Could you give me a hand here?"

Uh, what?! Oh god. Cas eyes widened. The tickling feeling returned, causing his heart to beat in his throat. She hadn't even touched him! How? No he couldn't, but...but she needed his help. He wasn't exactly in the position to say 'no'.

"Uhm...yes...? How...?"

She sat down again, but this time her back turned to him.

"Open the clasp in the middle and then pull down the strap over my right shoulder."

She didn't seem bothered by the, admittedly, weird situation.

"Oh-Okay...?"

Cas moved closer. Meg pulled her hair over her shoulder to let him see the clasp better. His hands lightly shook as he touched the fabric. A shiver ran down his back when his fingers accidentally brushed her skin. It took him a minute to figure out the mechanism with all the chaos in his head, but finally it opened and caused the left side to fall down instantly. Okay so what was the second part? Oh yes, the right strap. Slowly he pulled it down her shoulder, his thumb caressing her skin yet again. As soon as it was off her shoulder it fell down on its own and Meg only had to wind out her hand. As she sat there, her naked back exposed to Cas, he could barely breathe. A tension built up between them.

Badum...badum...badum; it was his heart echoing in his ears, making him unable to concentrate on anything. He felt a longing, like being pulled out of his vessel and into her. Cas didn't know what to do. His only thought was pulling her close.

He wanted to ask a thousand things and at the same time nothing. What came out was:

"Uh..Wh-What now?", he whispered.

Meg slowly turned her head. She didn't answer, just looked at him, not turning her body, but only her head. When she looked back at the wall seconds later she still hadn't made a sound. Cas was about to ask again when suddenly she turned around and kissed him.

* * *

_Note:__ Huuh, HUUH? Didn't expect that, did you? :P I figured 10 chapters was a long enough wait. ;) Hope it's okay. As always: Like, favor and review, but most importantly: Share everywhere you can! :) _

_More stuff coming soon, be prepared because I am most definitely not! :D See ya, bye! :3_


	11. Delivery Service

It felt different. Lips a little dryer, breath a little sweeter, hands a little rougher, but it still felt as good as the first time.

It still was fun for sure!

Not many demons could say that they'd kissed an angel. Meg felt privileged to do so. She'd kissed almost every type of person. Men, women, young, old, black, white, vampires, werewolves, demons; they all had. But what the others didn't know: Kissing an angel did not only complete the list. It was special. It made you feel yourself again. Made you feel the heaven you never got, even if it's just a flicker of it. And yes, that was awfully cheesy of her to think, but she didn't bother. As well as she didn't bother that she was half naked. She'd never had any body issues and anyways: If this was gonna go like she'd want, it'd just save some time.

In need for air Meg eventually pulled back and opened her eyes. Cas stared back at her, not as shocked as she'd thought he would be. His cheeks were flushed bright red though. Right then he could've easily passed for a 4 year-old girl, who was just offered candy - shocked, but happy. Also just like a little girl would, seconds later, go for her candy, Cas leaned in for more after less than three breaths. Slowly, they lay down on the bed, mouths still pressed together. As if it was an instinct, Meg's hands gripped him tighter, one in his hair, the other, with the hurt shoulder on his waist.

And Cas? He was gripping her back, supporting her while she lay down and now pressing her tighter against his chest. Meg was about to open her eyes, just to check if it still really was the usually so strict angel kissing her! Where had all this passion been all the time?!

"Like the pizza man all over again...," she mumbled against his lips.

* * *

_**Note:**__ I am SO sorry this took so long. I'm back at university now, so I don't have as much time, and it appears that I left all my writing inspiration at home. :C I have started the next chapter, but I really don't want to promise you anything. And honestly: I don't want to put pressure on myself doing this because though I am publishing this story here, I'm still writing if for myself. So yeah. I hope you can forgive me. _

_As always: Share, like, follow and review, please! :) _


	12. No care

He couldn't think. Not about Lucifer, bot about Leviathans, bot about the Winchesters. And most certainly, he couldn't think about what he was doing. Right there all he cared about was the warmth of her skin under is hand, the way her back moved and her hair tangled around his fingers. Her smell, her taste, her breath. It wasn't new for him, he did have a wife as Emanuel and he remembered his time with her clearly, but he couldn't remember it blowing his mind like kissing Meg did. It didn't feel wrong or embarrassing to touch her. All of it just felt good and exciting and _right._

"Uh-uh, wouldn't do that!"

Cas froze. What? Did he just - what _was_ that?!

"Hey, what's wrong?" Meg mumbled against his lips. He pulled back further and looked at her, wondering.

"Did you just say something?"

Meg stared back at him with disbelieve. "Yeah, I just asked-", but he cut her off. That was not what he wanted to get at.

"No-I know. I mean before that?"

She was obviously displeased.

"Why-no! Cas, just let go a little," were her words when she pulled him back down to her mouth.

She was right. It probably was just the wind outside. It was nothing.

He leaned in again, capturing her lips. Who would've known that he'd end up here. An obedient soldier - a believer - sent to hell to pull out Michael's vessel, coming to earth to protect him, who fought against demons, humans, creatures and heaven, who learned to feel, and who got back his faith, only to get killed by what he thought was right. This creature, now mere an ant like any other, but worse because his mind had now, at last, left him, too, did the unthinkable: He stopped caring for the first time. During all of this existence, all of his ups and downs he had never, not once, done something without caring about it. Without thinking it was the right thing to do.

In that moment with Meg, Castiel stopped caring about right or wrong, heaven or hell, past or future.

Her legs tangled around his and he could feel her heart hammering against his chest. After a few minutes he felt her hands move down, caressing his sides and finding the hem of his shirt. Slowly her fingers touched his bare hip bones and moved higher, taking the shirt with them. It was like they left a trace of fire on his skin. he was burning up from the inside out.

"Ugh! Gross!"

Clear as a bell, even if it was only for a second. Again, Cas froze. This time, he didn't have to ask. He knew it wasn't Meg.

Without a word, he pulled back and got up. Meg couldn't even finish her cry of "Cas, CAS? What is- CAS!?", before he was out the door and everything came down on him again.

* * *

Note: This was supposed to go a different way, but I was reminded of a thing I read the other day: Let your characters suffer. So yeah. Tadaa! I know I'm cruel. Sorry. Comes with selling my soul to Crowley. ;)

If you've been mentally hurt by all those unfulfilled expectations in this chaper, just tell me about it in a quick review, please. ;) And maybe share with your friends to let them suffer, too. :)

Follow for more, thanks for reading, reviewing, ect. and as always: More stuff coming (probably not so) soon. :)

xo Franzi


	13. Hello

Yes! Now, finally, he was breaking down. Took long enough. Who could have know that leaving him alone would work?! Reverse psychology it seemed. What now? Was this the goal?

It was Lucifer talking in his head, clear as if he was right there next to Cas. Only louder. Louder now than ever before. His ears ringing, his head hurting like it was about to explode. But worse? Worse was that he was trapped. Nothing else existed, but the burning voice in his head. He was blind, lost, couldn't feel or hear how his head hit the ground, how he lay there, totally motionless in the dark, as if he was already dead.

"You know what, little brother? I have to congratulate you! I mean you kicked me off the throne! You're officially the worst, meanest, most cruel and destructive thinking being of all times. You've topped me as most hated angel ever. So congrats! Really! So happy for you! Fanfares, please!"

And then he screamed his bad imitation of trumpets in Castiel's ears, so loud he thought his ears started to bleed. But he didn't know. There was no way to get out; No place to hide, no ticking clock to distract him. If he could, he would kill himself now.

"Kill yourself? Yeah that's the coward Castiel I know. Willing to die just to escape the pain. Yeah brother, uhm, guess what:"

he took a deep breath in order to be able to scream at him. His voice echoed off his scull:

"NOT TONIGHT! Haha! Nope. In fact: not ever! You're my bitch now. Forever and ever and ever. Stuck in an almost dead body, unable to move. But because I'm such a good big brother, I'm gonna grant you one sense, just so you don't think I'm cruel. I'm gonna give you your sight back, so you can see the world turning, as you slowly rot, while I tell you, why you should be glad that I'm your payment for all you did. So let's see, in every sense of the word, what's going on out there, shall we?"

Without even wanting to, Cas opened his eyes. No, no, please-

"Oh, look who's here, Cas! Hello Meg!"

* * *

_**Note:**__ I would say I'm sorry, but I really ain't. I mean I want to give you the good stuff and sadly that sometimes takes a lot of time. So I hope you'll stay with me and the story. I promise you, it's not gonna be that much more. ;) I'm thinking of maybe one more chapter or a little epilogue. We'll see, but for now: Thanks for reading, I'm always happy about reviews and follows! :) Tell your friends about the story. :) also, check my tumblr (__**sacrificingcastiel**__) for more stuff. I'm gonna upload Tick/Tock and all my other writings as pdf's there. Also I have 2 one shot's on there, maybe those will sweeten the wait for you. ;) _

_bye, thanks again, xo Franzi. :) _


	14. Motionless

"Cas? CAS!"

Agh damn you, angel boy!

"CAS!"

She shook him. Hard. Cradled him in her arms, clinging to his motionless body, trying to get some kind of reaction.

"Castiel, can you _hear_ me?! HEY! _SAY_ something!"

The pain and despair let her scream angry words at him.

"_Damn_ you,_ DO_ something!"

She gripped the back of his head to keep it from falling back. Her hand touched wet locks; Meg pulled it back. Blood. He was bleeding.

And although it must have been quite a wound, it shouldn't have been enough to let him pass out like this. He was a damn angel! A little laceration couldn't really hurt him, could it? She thought about it. He _was_ still an angel, right? Crazy or not, he didn't loose his grace,_ right? _

She looked back at him. His blue eyes stared back at her.

"CAS! Finally! Hey! _HEY!"_

She shook him again, but he didn't react. He just...stared. His eyes like those of a dead person: blankly staring, not moving, expressionless, empty. As if someone had forgotten to close them. But he'd moved right? He wasn't dead!

"Cas?!"

No. Still no reaction. Great! And now? She couldn't just leave him here -although she almost considered it for a second. He had to be in his hospital bed by morning, otherwise there would be questions. And that's not a thing she'd want. Questions were always bad.

Carefully, she lay the motionless body back down. First, she had to get him back to the hospital. She could wonder about the rest later.

* * *

It was easier said then done, getting the body into the seat without any help.

After what felt like hours, she finally had the seat belt wrapped around him, so that he wouldn't fall off. Carefully Meg started the engine and drove through the night back to the sanatorium. Meg was lucky: it was late, so that nearly no one was pacing the halls when she sneaked inside. On the way an idea had come to her, how she could avoid dragging the body through the floors behind her.

A wheelchair was easy to find. Wheeling Castiel through the back door into the nurses' changing room, she still made sure no one saw her. And now? She had to get him into his patient grown somehow! Otherwise the nurses would know that he was out. She had no other choice.

Undressing him was much sexier, when he'd helped. If she wouldn't have known better, she'd almost say she felt bad for invading his private sphere. Especially with his eyes still staring blankly ahead.

Meg had tried to close them multiple times, but they'd spring open again and again, almost as if something forced him to keep them open.

Fortunately, she didn't have to change his underwear. That would have been weird, even for her. The white shirt and pants were wide and easy to put on.

After she'd rearranged his body in the chair, she quickly grabbed her scrubs, too and wandered off into the shower to change. Even though he didn't react, she wouldn't put on a strip-show for him right now!

Changed and ready, she rolled him back out, up with the elevator to the first floor and back in his room. Carefully she carried his heavy body to the bed and lay him down, tugged the sheets around him and once more tried to close his eyes, before she left the room to bring back the wheelchair.

Down in the hall, as she passed the office, she remembered something. The wound on his head would still leave questions. And a bloody stain on the pillow probably. Quickly she sneaked into the -luckily- empty office. Her intend was to manipulate the files, so that no one would know of their trip outside. Then, she went to the supply room to get a new pillow and some bandages.

Meg got back to find that Cas had finally closed his eyes. Carefully, she lifted his head to fix up his head and the bloody pillow. When she lay his head back down, now having a white bandage wrapped around it, she twitched when his stare was back at her. Ah, so he only reacted, when something was happening to him? Interesting. And fucking _scary_.

"Oh Clarence," she murmured soothingly, "you know it's impolite to stare at a woman like that." And then, out of an impulse, she bend down to kiss his cheek softly while closing his eyes again, hoping they'd stay shut.

Without a look back she left the room to get rid of the bloody pillow and inform the Winchesters, with whom she'd kept in contact to inform them about Castiel's condition.

But she would be back.

Because after all, she was his nurse and had to care for him.

* * *

_**Note:**__ There it is. The final chapter, bringing us full circle, back to the original story. I will publish a short epilogue linking 7x21 to it in a few minutes. _

_I hope you like it! If you do, then why don't you tell me in a quick review? And don't forget to like and share it with your friends! :) _

_Thanks so much for reading! Bye for now! I have an epilogue to write! ;) xo Franzi_


	15. Epilogue

The storm outside was...weird and sudden.

If Meg didn't have know better, she would have said it's an omen. But since Lucifer was now much rather haunting heads of his former vessels and former angels, than the earth, she put it off as a climate change effect.

Turning her music up was the only reaction she had to it anyway. She didn't even look up from her magazine, not bothering to check on the body on the bed before her that hadn't moved in weeks.

No one knew, what happened that night when he became, well, you could describe it as comatose. The Winchesters had accused her of it at first, but later believed her, after she had, again and again, pledged her innocence. They assumed nothing after that. Great friends they were, Meg thought. Leaving Cas here alone, putting him off for later, after they handled what they had called "Dick business", which made her wonder about their phrasing.

She, on the opposite, _had_ thought about what could've happened. First she'd put her bets on heaven, but later realized: Why would they give a crap about him now? After he'd been crazy for more than two weeks already? It didn't seem plausible.

Her second guess was Lucifer, meaning his imaginary 'friend' Lucifer, but she doubted those hallucinations could have that strong of and effect.

Her most recent theory was his vessel shutting down. She had read that the human brain would sometimes do that to protect itself. Maybe it got the better of him. Her grace flickered up at the thought.

What the hell?

Before her was Cas. But...sitting! Like sitting up, moving, staring.

WHAT ON EARTH?

-the End-

* * *

_**Note:**__ Tadaa! Oh god, it's finished, I can't believe it! I'm gonna quote here: "Endings are hard." Oh yes, Chuck, how right you were. Endings are hard, so I'm gonna end this here. But, and I'm quoting again here, "nothing ever really ends". And that's why my goal with the story, was to blend in with the actual plot of the show, so that afterwards you just have a little story, perfectly integrated into the real one. So this epilogue is just to help you see where it's picking up. It describes the beginning of 7x21 ("Reading Is Fundamental"), so you can slip right into that episode with my story in mind. :) _

_I hope you liked what I did here, I also hope you're not angry with me for, after having planned it differently at first, wrapping this up so fast now. I think this will be my last longer story for a while now. Maybe I'll write a One Shot some time, idk. _

_In the next few days, I'm gonna publish this, and all my other stories, as .pdf's on my tumblr blog (__**sacrificingcastiel**__) under "nav" - "fanfics" for you to download. I find it nicer to read it that way. _

_Last but not least a big THANK YOU to all of the people who helped me with this: __**"Alice"/Emily**__ for e-mailing me, __**GougeAway**__ for reviewing every chapter and messaging me (get a tumblr already!:P) and __**Bettina**__, who kicked my ass to finally finish these last chapters. I don't think I'd have done it so fast otherwise. _

_And last, but definitely not least __**YOU**__! Thanks to YOU and all the other people who read, favorite, followed and shared this story! It still blows my mind that you would really do that with one of my crappy stories! :) _

_If you have any questions, complains or other or if you just want to talk, contact me here or via tumblr (as said before:__** sacrificingcastiel**__). I'll be glad to talk to you! Thanks and bye for now! :) _

_xo Franzi_


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